Sorry in Advance..and in retrospect.

Women keep saying how the last month of pregnancy is so hard. Well, I'm gonna go ahead and agree with them even though my last month has barely begun. I also want to apologize in advance to my husband, friends, parents and unsuspecting sales people. I'm not exactly the most chipper person on the block and I'm noticing my patience is at an all time low. I can't say I blame my body for being so crabby. I guess really I owe it the biggest apology. "Sleeping" on the couch, carrying all this extra weight, enlarged organs the size of a basketball, bathroom breaks every hour 24/7, out of breath from talking and not to mention a billion hormones pumping through it constantly..that's rough. I get it and I promise I won't do this to you for too much longer. However, please please don't take your frustrations out on others. I'm gonna need these people after the baby gets here.

So to the following people, please accept my apology in advance:

Hal: Thank you for being supportive, understanding and loving. You think I've been emotional but Im guessing it's gonna get worse before it gets better. If I start crying or decide to be rude, mean and a bit loco don't try and find an underlying meaning. Just know its pregnancy and more than likely nothing you say will be a solution so it's best to just "hug it out." unless I'm mad- then I would go the chocolate covered strawberries route.

Mom:I'm sorry in advance if I snap at you, tell you something you're doing wrong, or act short. It's not you- it's me..so ignore it and don't take it personally. You're te best mom a gal could ask for and there is no way I could do this without you. (No matter what my attitude may think at a particular moment.)

To the sales lady at the children's store: if I tell you I want an outfit now, please do not tell me to wait. I've waited 9 months to find out the sex of this kid and waiting until after its born and sending my husband to your store to pick out the "coming home outfit" seemed like an aweful idea to me. However, you trying to help should not have made me want to crawl over the table in smack you silly. I'm just glad I didn't act on my temptation.

To the lady who stopped at the stop sign too long: I'm sorry for yelling at you but there is no need to sit there for a full minute. I'm glad my window was up and you did not see my small temper tantrum.

Vampire Diaries..

For the last few weeks I have been sleeping in what I call, the modified vampire pose. Not standing but pretty much sitting straight up.  The baby seems to think it is fun to make a game against my esophagus and anything I have consumed 3 hours prior to sleeping.  Even trying to lay down is off limits unless I want to start choking and coughing, immediately.  This makes for quite a rough bed time. My typical night goes as following: 10PM: Lay down in modified vampire, pray I don't have heart burn and choking spells, toss and turn while trying to get comfy and get mad that Hal is already soundly asleep.  11:30PM: Bathroom break (I know, right?!..after only vampiring for an hour or so.. believe me, its really annoying).  1:30AM: Bathroom break number 2. A bit of insomnia, rearranging pillows and sometimes a glass of chocolate milk.  After that I usually sleep pretty well.  6:30AM: Hal's alarm goes off. I stay in bed.  7:30AM: Up to make cereal and coffee and send my hubby off to work.   One would think this would be a great time to go back to sleep right? Husband is gone, house is quiet.. Um, not so much.  Even if I didn't have a list a mile long of things I want to do, the baby is ready to play his/her favorite game against my esophagus.  Laying down is completely out of the question for the next few hours.  This new vampire pose does make me want to bite people's head off sometimes (figuratively speaking, of course) but for the most part I think I am adjusting quite well to this new trend of not sleeping. I think it is God's way of preparing me for January...that or this baby is really into the Twilight Saga..

growing..growing..growing

Here are a few pictures of Pop Kern growing..growing..growing.

18 weeks, 4 days

Mary Beth's Bachalorette party.  21 weeks, 6 days

23 weeks on Sept 25, 2011. 

Important topics of discussion:

Heart Burn:  It has started..and not stopped. It's been rather heated around here for 3 days or so. I thought I would beat the system by writing down foods that triggered it. I quickly stopped my useless writing because, well, EVERYTHING triggers it!  I'm hoping this means our little kernel is going to come out with a head full of hair, unlike me who had peach fuzz until I was 2 years old.

Bathroom Breaks: I have touched on this point before but now I REALLY know what I'm talking about.  (and I'm sure in a few more months I will rant about it again).  Earlier in pregnancy I THOUGHT I used the restroom  a lot. oh  no, no,  no..now its every hour on the hour and 3 times a night. What can possibly be going on in there that a pound and a half baby can make me have to visit the loo so frequently?

Sleep..what's that?  Between my back and stomach muscle aches, potty breaks, too many pillows- no wait- not enough pillows, hot-now cold-now hot, Hayden barking b/c I've knocked him off the bed, Hal tossing and turning b/c I've woke him up in my attempt to get comfy..no wonder I wake up more tired then when I started.  At night, I've started dreading going to bed b/c I know that more than likely,  I wont like the outcome.  The pharmacist told me it's because all the extra blood pumping in my body.  I think it's God's way of getting back at me for all the times I fought my parents on going to bed as a child. 

For kicks and giggles (and my baby notes)

17 weeks 3 days:

As we lay down to sleep last night, I had my hand laying on my stomach, like I do every night, in hopes of feeling PK jump around. I was having trouble getting comfortable but had finally found a spot. A few moments later I felt something-a BIG something-TWICE!! It was Baby Kern! I just felt Pop Kern kick my hand- twice! They were pretty big kicks for such a little kernel. It was no mistake what I just felt. I think I scared Hal when I yelled with excitement "Baby! I felt the baby kick, give me your hand!" A few minutes later, Hal, with his hand frozen on my tummy shouts "Did you feel that?! That's amazing!" he felt Baby Kern kick too! After that, it was impossible for me to fall asleep.

Baby notes.  These are more just things I want to remember but dont have a great pen and paper pregnancy journal..most wont find any benifit from reading this.

Aug 12 2011 dr. Appt:
16w5days
Heartbeat 156-158 very string.

Aug 14: bought first pair of maternity jeans and leggings.

12 weeks: nausea went away
13 weeks: energy level increases
13 weeks started getting small baby pump. By 16 weeks it was much more noticeable.
15 weeks: no longer able to wear my shorts
16 weeks 1 day: felt baby kick for first time. Felt like waves, tiny waves
17 weeks: STILL craving carbs, especially potatoes and now sweets. Really wanted cheesecake (for like 3 weeks now) but yet to give in.  Instead I've just been going to Taste Yogurt 2x a week!

As of 16w5d I've gained 4lbs. The first trimester I lost 2 lbs because I so nauseous.
Had a hard time adjusting to sleeping on my side. I gravitate to my back and wake up every morning on my back.
-16 weeks I've  noticed if I didn't eat a substantial dinner then I woke up in middle of night either starving or sick to my stomach.

28 going on 82

We officially set into our second trimester YESTERDAY! (July 24, 2012).  I am happy to report that the nausea and huge aversion to almost any and all food has been gone for a week or so.  And I am super thrilled to have my energy level back (even though I did nap twice last week).  We had our 12 week appointment and little Pop Kern was doing somersaults on the big screen.  PK also had a strong heart beat of 165bmp, measured 2.5 inches long and weighing in at an ounce.   

Now, let's talk about what happening now that I am in the second trimester.  In the books there is all this talk about energy levels on the rise and you will be going, going, going just like your pre-pregnancy days.  What they fail to mention is the pace at which you will be able to GO-GO-GO.  In two weeks I have gone from a peppy 28 year old to a slow moving 82 year old. Well, at least when I get off the couch, out of bed or for my multitude of visits to the loo.  Instead of springing of my bum at whatever rate the situation calls for, I now have to pace myself like granny with a bad hip.  It's not because I have a huge belly already or I have retained so much water weight I resemble a small home.  Nope, its a little thing called round ligament pain.  Every had it?  If so, you know exactly what I am talking about.  It is a pulling, painful sensation that occurs in my abdomen pretty much every time I stand up, walk funny or I sleep in the wrong position.  The once semi-toned muscles in my stomach are beginning to expand to make room for a growing Pop Kern thus they ache. Often.  Some women experience this their entire pregnancy.  I have been experiencing it for the majority of my pregnancy but they have really picked up A LOT lately. Earlier in my pregnancy I didnt want to tell my doctor b/c they were not that often or severe and I didnt want him to think I was a sissy who had to tell him about every ache and pain.  So now, when I get up- I look like an 82 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body.  But hey, if this is the most I have to deal with for the next trimester, BRING IT ON! I can handle this much better than first trimester symptoms.

Water Wait..Whoops!

Tuesday morning of July 12 2011, the front desk of the doctor’s office calls to let me know I will need to drink FOUR glasses of water an hour before my visit tomorrow morning.  My jaw dropped when she told me that.  There is no way on God's green earth I can:

A) Drink that much water   B) Hold it for an hour (my bladder is about the size of a pea- I drink a few sips and I have to run to the loo.)  And let’s not forget the real issue.. C) They weigh me every time I am there.  Do they really expect me to step on a scale and let them note my weight while I have 4 glasses of water inside me?  Heck, they keep it 30 degrees in that office and yet I still wear the lightest sundress possible and flip flops as not to add any extra weight to the scale.  This lady is of her rocker if she thinks I'm stepping on it with a full bladder!

After serious thought (of about 15 seconds) I decided, once again, that I know my body better than the front desk lady. I devised a plan in which I will  drink the water 30 minutes before I see the doctor..an hour is just uncalled for. Well,  we all know once you get there, there is a 30 minute minimum waiting time.  This meant, I didn’t need to drink the water until I was leaving for the doctor’s office! It's a perfect win-win for all of us! I don’t have to be miserable and worried I may have an accident on the doctor office floor and the ultra sound tech gets the full bladder she requested.  

Did this happen??  Well....


Wednesday morning arrives. I drink my water as I’m walking out the door.  We arrive as I am finish my water; we wait 30 minutes (just as I predicted).  We go into the ultrasound room, I kind of have "the urge" but it’s not bad.  I have figured this system out!  I get to see my baby and my bladder doesn't feel like Mount Rushmore.  The ultra sound tech squirts the warm gel on my stomach (which is the only warm thing about that doctor’s office..I say this as I go willing into the frigid doctor’s office with a sleeveless linen sundress on). The tech starts pushing down on my belly with a force I was sure to squish my Pop Kern.  After a bit of difficulty finding a good picture she asks (in voice similar to that of a teacher catching a student cheating) "When did finish drinking your water?"  I reply confidently "Umm..about 30 minutes ago."  She immediately puts her magic baby wand away and tells me to sit in the waiting room for 20 minutes.  Wait..Did I just get put in Mommy time-out??  To make matters worse, after all the pushing she did, I seriously have to pee.  I cant believe she is going to make me weight another 20 minutes! Not fair! After all that planning, devising and calculating on my end..I still had to sit in the cold doctor’s office worrying about soiling their carpet for 20 minutes.  Awesome London- Great Job.  Needless to say, this was the longest wait to date.

 She finally came back and summoned us back to the ultra sound room.  I did notice she made me wait longer than 20 minutes. I bet she was in her office laughing evilly while watching me squirm uncomfortably. Once she had her fill she decided to let me out of my misery.  We settled back into position with the gel and the magic baby wand to watch our little Pop Kern on the big screen. And do you know what?  During the “movie” using the restroom was the furthest thing from my mind.  I could have watched our little one squirm and play around in my belly all day.  We saw 2 hands, 2 feet, facial profiles (such a cute nose) and heard the heart beat (165 bpm). 

Mommy time-out worked like a charm.  Next time I will do as the front lady tells me and drink my water earlier. 

Oh, and just so you know- they weigh you after the ultra sound and bathroom break at this appointment.  :)

The Dryer Shrunk My Favorite Jeans.

So Hal and I decided to have a little impromptu date night. It's 4:00 in the afternoon and I decide that Mellow mushroom pizza is needed and needed now. Not sure he will go for this super unhealthy request at an odd time of day I suggest afterwards doing something he can't resist..movies. He agrees and we are off to start date night with a 4:30 dinner and 6:00 movie. Going to my closet to see what I can tolerate, I decide I think I can handle a pair of cute fitted jeans. Now at work, I must let you know, I have pretty much been wearing the same 5 loose dresses for the last 3 weeks as anything on my stomach drives me bonkers. However, it's date night (and freezing in movie theaters) so I decide to give my favorite pair of jeans a night on the town. I grab them, get pulled half way up and think to myself "huh, these are a little tight..I must have dried them too long." I proceed to finish dressing in them. Still tight, they obviously need to be stretch out a bit. I do a squat and that's when I hear the worst sound known to women.."riiiiip" I look down and its what I was scared of- my favorite pair of white skinny jeans (that I found on sale)..fatally wounded. I still dont think I'm ready to admit it was ME that caused them to rip. I'm blaming it in the dryer. Instead, I put on another pair, opted to not even attempt to "stretch" this pair, tossed on my belly band (for the first time), give myself a one over in the mirror and as I looked at my baggy shirt and my belly banded jeans, I realized- things were changing. No more little black dress with a cocktail before heading out to table 16 for tuna tartar and a 9pm movie. It's comfy clothing and pizza at 4:00 in the afternoon. I tirn off the light and walk down the hall to meet my husband at the front door and that's when he says "you look beautiful". I'm no longer mad that "the dryer" shrunk my jeans.