Don't Make The Pregnant Woman Cry..Especially If She Is Your Wife.

All day at work I thought about how I would tell my husband the good news that we were expecting a little Kern.  I decided to get a bottle of champagne and some ginergale for me (since vino is now out of the picture). I redesigned the label on the champagne to read on the front "Do not open until January 17, 2010" (yep- in the excitement of my plan, I accidentally typed 2010, not 2012)  and on the back to say "You're going to be a Daddy!"  My goal was to be sitting at home enjoying a glass of wine (aka ginerale) when my husband got home. I would then casually ask him to pour me another glass and when he went to the fridge to grab the bottle, he would see the surprise!

Needless to say, things did not go as planned.  I rush home to get everything ready only to learn that he has an event that night that has been planned and he cannot get out of. No big deal, I tell myself, he will be home around 7:30PM and I can surprise him then.  7:30PM comes and I get a text message "gonna grab a beer with the guys real quick..cool?"  I panic but manage to calmly reply "No, I would really like for you to come home if you don't mind. I have a surprise for you."  Radio Silence. No response. No phone call. No nothing. 8:15PM rolls around and I know he had to be ignoring me. I call him and he doest answer. I text him and he doesn't answer. 30 minutes later I call him again and he answers. He is most definitely in the bar. I am crying and yelling at this point telling him how I never ask him not to do something but this one time I asked him to come home and he blatantly ignored me.  I mean, I laid into him. I told him to set his beer down immediately and leave right this minute. (He now knows not to make a pregnant woman cry... especially if she is your wife). I didn't tell him why he should have listened to me, only that if I ask him to do something, he needs to listen. He came home about 15 minutes later to me sitting on the couch, in my pj's and pissed. He said "So what's the surprise? (pretty sure he thought it was going to be lingerie so seeing me in pj's was not in line with his expectation).  I said "The surprise is in the fridge if you care" he said "Well I don't want it now that your mad" I replied "OOH you're going to get it alright" I walked over the fridge grabbed the bottle and threw it at him in the chair. I screamed "I'm pregnant- I hope your happy!.. Oh, and I'm five weeks!" and stormed off in the biggest tantrum I could throw. I slammed the bathroom door shut and anxiously awaited to see how he would react. I tried to cry loudly to show just how mad I was but deep down I was excited that he now knew and I wanted to see his reaction. He knocked on the door. I unlocked it and sat back in the corner. He came in and was beaming from ear to ear.  He gave me a huge hug. I tried to be mad but a huge smile escaped as we hugged it out. The rest was history.. I did manage to get flowers the next day for it.

Two Lines Are Better Than One..

Tuesday morning, May 17, I decide to take a pregnancy test. Aunt flow had been making her appearances quite irregularly and with her  now a week over due, I decided to put my mind at ease and confirm she would soon  be here. I did what any gal would do and I took a pregnancy test..before rushing out the door for my (already late) work day.  I followed the directions, glanced at it and didn't seem to be anything suspect so I went to feed the dogs.  I came back a few minutes later expecting to toss it in the trash bin and go on my way. Well, that didn't happen. I saw TWO lines instead of the expected one line.  I stood in shock and excitement and just stared at it. And starred at it. And starred at it.  I had to text a picture to Emily for confirmation and yep, she agreed, I was definitely pregnant.  Now next thing on the agenda- tell husband then parents, in that order.  I went to work that Tuesday morning and should have won world's worst employee for that day b/c I did nothing but figure out how I was going to tell my husband.